You can choose happy.
Simple Radical Idea 03
I have a strongly held belief that “you can choose happy”, that happiness is a choice.
Being a realist, I've struggled with the definition of happy over the years: it’s a loosely defined thing.
Happy people are not just the blind optimists. Other emotions are equally human — defending your values, getting angry.
Happiness exists in a present tense. Statements like “I’ll be happy once I am finally on the plane to vacation” don’t reflect the current realities.
Can you challenge yourself to find happiness everyday?
I was recently impressed by a simple idea from a Twitter Bio:
“an unwavering believer that work doesn't need to be painful”
It made me feel happy thinking about it. A vastly different tone to the usual hum of workplace moaning.
This got me thinking — is workplace moaning a symptom of not choosing happiness?
As workplaces tie us physically to place and people, then “work not needing to be painful” for this person is in actively managing their constant mental happiness.
Here’s an idea: Take a view, that your default position is happy.
When your default position is happy, you can actively defend your happy mind from the constant confrontations around us trying to pull us down.
Here are some self-improvement strategies that I've picked up:
Be default happy.
Give people the benefit of the doubt, assume good intent.
Be honest with yourself about your feelings, don’t be a blind optimist.
Practice realism, but don’t participate in negativity.
Be helpful, don’t be confrontational.
Resist the impulse to state things that could be misinterpreted.
Choose the communication medium that gives the right level of context for what you want to say.
Don’t speak in sound-bites and don’t drip.
Don’t moan about something unless you are offering an alternative solution.
Pass feedback you may have to the right audience once, then move on.
Listen to people and take the time to understand their point of view. Don’t immediately react. You might realise you actually agree with them.
Sit with feedback.
Don’t wait for the weekend to be happy.
Above all, “You can choose happy”.
